Entry tags:

fiction, logan/veronica, one shots, r, veronica mars

5 Minutes With Logan Echolls
Title: 5 Minutes With Logan Echolls
Rating: Light R. Bad language and sex references.
Author: Amber adelli
Spoilers: None
Character : Logan, Logan/Veronica.
Summary: Gain a little insight into the future Logan Echolls by sitting down and reading this fluff piece interview.
Disclaimer: (Witty comment yet to be added)
Word Count: 750
Notes: To get the full effect, I suggest reading this whilst waiting for a doctors appointment, surrounded by coughing octogenarians.

5 minutes with… Logan Echolls!


Today in 5 minutes with… we sit down with creator and star of the hit FOX comedy, Bite Me, Blondie, Logan Echolls. Is he as cruelly funny in person as he is on the show? Well we at Hollywired! know one thing for sure - he’s certainly as gorgeous. And if any of our readers doubt that the show is really based on his early relationship with his wife… read on.




HW: Do you watch yourself on screen?
LE: Of course, I’m damn foxy. Even I can’t resist me.


HW: How do you cope with fame?
LE: I have sex with a lot of groupies, do a lot of drugs, smack my wife around - which is great, because afterwards I feel a lot less stressed. Also, I do yoga.


HW: What’s the best thing about being famous?
LE: Fast cars and faster women… no, I’m thinking of a movie. All I’m allowed now is a family SUV because it’s reliable enough to have me home in bed with the Mrs. by 10.


HW: What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten?
LE: Keep your mouth shut and don’t act like a sarcastic dickwad in interviews – hey, I didn’t say I took the advice.


HW: Do you have a nickname?
LE: Well if you’re a member of my staff you call me ‘Mister Logan, sir’, if you’re one of my friends you call me ‘Money Train’, and if you’re my wife you call me ‘Studley McLovemuffin’ , wait… that might have all been a dream I had last night.


HW: What’s your favourite movie?
LE: Easy Rider. The original and the porno version, She’s Easy, Ride Her.


HW: What’s the picture currently set on your computer desktop?
LE: The coded map to where the bodies are buried… no wait - forget I said that.


HW: What’s your shoe size?
LE: Ah, I think you’re cute but I’m seeing someone right now.


HW: Do you untie your shoes before you remove them?
LE: Oh, I have people for that.


HW: What’s your favourite food?
LE: My wife’s Microwave Mac and Cheese… but that might be because she lets me eat it off her.


HW: What’s the last thing that you ate?
LE: Hollywired! would like to note that this question was met by a smirk and a long chuckle, so in the interests of our more impressionable readers, we decided to move on.


HW: What were you doing at midnight last night?
LE: Better question is who…


HW: What are you reading right now?
LE: My kid’s journal.


HW: What’s your most embarrassing CD?
LE: The Best of Falco. See, when you’re young you can’t stand to listen to anything but Radiohead . But then you reach a certain age and suddenly you’re all, ‘y’know, Rock Me, Amadeus is actually a layered and deeply introspective track. I’ve always had a lot of respect for Austrians’.


HW: When did you last cry?
LE: 2 weeks ago when my kid upchucked in the back of my black Jag.


HW: What’s the worst mistake you’ve ever made?
LE: A leather jacket.


HW: Why?
LE: Let’s just say that it’s ironic that something that’s supposedly synonymous with manliness could make me look so effeminate that it actually prompted my wife to say upon her first viewing, ‘Geez honey, could you at least knock before coming out of the closet instead of jumping through and scaring the crap out of me like that?’ Yeah, I’m… I’m lucky to have her.


HW: What are you scared of?
LE: Lime green pants and Britney Spears.


HW: Who do you have a crush on?
LE: My wife – which, if you ask her, means I’m a girl. The joke stopped being funny after we got engaged and she started telling people she was a lesbian.


HW: Boxers or Briefs?
LE: No.


HW: What do you first notice about a person?
LE: I’m an ass man. Is it weird that I can actually hear my wife’s voice in my head saying, ‘Yeah, Jackass man, maybe’?


HW: What are your plans for the rest of the year?
LE: World domination and basket weaving classes.


HW: Do you have any advice for young screenwriter/actors who are just starting out?
LE: Yeah, start at the bottom, work hard, cast wisely, and if you end up with a hit show that out-rates mine then you’d better start running now because I will fuck your shit up. No seriously. I’ll kill you dead.



Bite Me, Blondie airs Sundays at 7.30 on FOX.

(127 comments) - (Post a new comment)

	jcalla 2006-06-15 03:48 am UTC (link)
	This is hilarious. I loved it. Very original. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 05:48 am UTC (link)
	Thank you, that means a lot. I'm glad you liked it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	queen_haq 2006-06-15 03:50 am UTC (link)
	hahahaha. Hilarious! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 05:51 am UTC (link)
	Thanks. If I did nothing else today, (which by the way, I didn't,) at least I made someone laugh. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jeannie_bean137 2006-06-15 03:51 am UTC (link)
	OMG I loved that on so many levels. It would be so awesome if Logan had his own show about Veronica and his relationship! I would love to see more things from his POV. This was so Logan I was almost shocked. Was Rob Thomas sitting behind you giving you ideas?? I was laughing the ENTIRE time! *send to all my VM friends* ;) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 05:43 am UTC (link)
	Was Rob Thomas sitting behind you giving you ideas?? He better not have been, I was in my pajamas. What a pervert. And yes that show would be awesome. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd mock up a fake transcript for a few of the fake episodes. I'm glad you liked it, honey. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	wily_one24 2006-06-15 03:51 am UTC (link)
	That was... weird. But hilarious. I think the best part was the intro, when I first read the title of his hit show Bite Me, Blondie, because if Logan ever did grow up to write for TV, that's *exactly* what his show would be called. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 06:02 am UTC (link)
	Weird is often hilarious. Okay, mostly to mean people, but still... Y'know, I think the phrase Bite Me, Blondie is from something, but I can't for the life of me remember what. Whatever, it fits. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	idolessrainbow 2006-06-15 03:53 am UTC (link)
	Aw, this was adorable. I so know the answer to What was the last thing you ate? This whole piece made me laugh. Great job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 06:17 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, I originally had him answering that question with a thinly veiled euphemism, but then I decided people were smart enough to get the subtle humor. I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2006-06-15 03:54 am UTC (link)
	That made me laugh out loud! Awesome job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 06:21 am UTC (link)
	I'm glad I could bring a small ray of sunshine into your day. ...Fuck, I think I was just possessed by Maria von Trapp. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	popaddict 2006-06-15 03:59 am UTC (link)
	super long LOL. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 06:19 am UTC (link)
	Super long, thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	rowanceleste 2006-06-15 04:01 am UTC (link)
	That was absolutely hysterical! I loved all of it but especially his response to when he cried and what he ate last..he's a perverted woobie! :) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 06:30 am UTC (link)
	I'm so glad you thought it was funny. Usually I write plot so if my jokes fall on their ass I always have story and smut to save me. I didn't have that luxury this time. And yes, Logan is perverted, even more than me who soooo didn't come up with that idea, and it soooo wasn't the first line I wrote. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	hildawookie 2006-06-15 04:02 am UTC (link)
	HW: What’s the last thing that you ate? LE: Hollywired! would like to note that this question was met by a smirk and a long chuckle, so in the interests of our more impressionable readers, we decided to move on. The entire thing was hilarious, but this part had me laughing til I was dead. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 07:14 am UTC (link)
	Please don't die on account of me. It was just a bad joke. I'm glad you enjoyed it though :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	la623 2006-06-15 04:04 am UTC (link)
	oh my god this was so funny! I couldn't stop laughing! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 07:25 am UTC (link)
	Thanks! I'm really happy you liked it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	dizzy_dia 2006-06-15 04:04 am UTC (link)
	OMG OMG OMG I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard. If Logan ever takes that stick out of his ass and loses the bitterness for like 5 seconds he will so be exactly like this. And if he and Veronica ever lose all the melodrama and angst in their relationship they will be exactly like Logan talked about them. :D (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 08:26 am UTC (link)
	We can live in hope. I'm glad you liked my take on Logan, hopefully you'll get to see more of him with a plot next time. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	afrocurl 2006-06-15 04:08 am UTC (link)
	Ah--snarky Logan in an interview. What a wonderful idea! I love the idea that Logan stars in his own TV show--he's not full of himself at all. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 08:31 am UTC (link)
	I'd say if this interview proved anything, it's that Logan's very, very full of himself. And since he's playing a character based on himself, I guess he figured no one else would be able to do him justice. Thanks for commenting, I'm glad you enjoyed it! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - afrocurl, 2006-06-15 12:10 pm UTC

(no subject) - adelli, 2006-06-15 12:28 pm UTC

(no subject) - afrocurl, 2006-06-15 12:38 pm UTC

	kerbear 2006-06-15 04:13 am UTC (link)
	This had me laughing loud enough to wake up my husband. Very funny! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 08:33 am UTC (link)
	Crap, tell him I'm sorry. I'm glad you enjoyed it though ;) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	sadiekate 2006-06-15 04:13 am UTC (link)
	This was adorable. Linked here by rowanceleste, btw. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 08:36 am UTC (link)
	Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! Snarky!Logan rules all. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	starlitgrove 2006-06-15 04:29 am UTC (link)
	This is hilarious! ‘Geez honey, could you at least knock before coming out of the closet instead of jumping through and scaring the crap out of me like that?’ Yeah, I’m… I’m lucky to have her. Hahahaha! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 08:39 am UTC (link)
	Oh I'm glad you liked that bit. I was worried it wouldn't read properly. It's hard to convey sarcasm in fic, especially without a format where I can't add, '...she jibed sarcastically'to the end of the dialogue. Thanks for reading! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	insunshine 2006-06-15 04:53 am UTC (link)
	This was AWESOME. Awesome awesome awesome. You win at LIFE. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 08:40 am UTC (link)
	I win life?! That is awesome! I'm happy you liked it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	genova 2006-06-15 04:54 am UTC (link)
	*snorts* That was cute. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 08:41 am UTC (link)
	Thanks! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	brianna_aisling 2006-06-15 04:56 am UTC (link)
	That's great. Jackass man. Ha! That so should be an icon. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 08:43 am UTC (link)
	I'm psyched you like it. And if you wanna make that icon - be my guest :) (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - brianna_aisling, 2006-06-17 06:24 am UTC

(no subject) - adelli, 2006-06-17 06:50 am UTC

(no subject) - brianna_aisling, 2006-06-17 08:00 am UTC

	jaggedreality 2006-06-15 05:01 am UTC (link)
	Ha! That's some funny shit. I could definitely picture Logan giving that interview. Awesome job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

adelli 2006-06-15 08:59 am UTC (link)

Well funny was my main goal, so I guess my mission is complete. I had Logan approach the interview with a complete lack of reverence because all it obviously is, is a fluff piece from a gossip rag. I figured Logan, of all people, would take the piss out of somebody asking him questions that shallow. Like the ones about his shoes. If it was a more serious interview, I think he'd adjust the snark accordingly. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	odintsova_27 2006-06-15 05:03 am UTC (link)
	this was so cute, I love Logan at his snarky best! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 09:01 am UTC (link)
	Me too - hence the fic. Glad you liked it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	moonlightrick 2006-06-15 05:14 am UTC (link)
	*snerk* Very amusing :D (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 09:02 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. Glad you liked it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fishinginthemud 2006-06-15 05:19 am UTC (link)
	Heh. Logan's wife is awesome. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 09:11 am UTC (link)
	Isn't she! I love the idea that they're all happily married with kids, and still find the time to snark at each other. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fickledame 2006-06-15 05:20 am UTC (link)
	Hee - fricken awesome. Great job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 09:06 am UTC (link)
	Thanks! It makes me happy that you enjoyed it. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	taken_with_you 2006-06-15 05:20 am UTC (link)
	You are hilarious, my love. I cackled all the way through this...it's the subtle digs that are the most funny. For instance: HW: What are you reading right now? LE: My kid’s journal. It's just too cute. *kiss kiss kiss* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	adelli 2006-06-15 09:17 am UTC (link)
	Ha! That's my favourite too. That on and Rock Me, Amadeus. You just know Logan would be taking the piss out of that whole crappy interview. Glad you like it, babe. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	I will fuck your shit up. ziebra 2006-06-15 05:33 am UTC (link)
	Friggin' Hi-larious. Biggest laugh for me? Boxers or Briefs? "No." (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: I will fuck your shit up. adelli 2006-06-15 09:21 am UTC (link)
	Did anyone have any doubt that Logan free-balled? Thanks for reading and commenting, I'm happy you enjoyed it! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: I will fuck your shit up. - ziebra, 2006-06-15 07:52 pm UTC

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(127 comments) - (Post a new comment)